My God can heal Cancer

Many Christians put God in a tiny box and limit his power to what they can see and understand. But how many people love to say God is a healer but when we are in the situation think the worst. My dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer, and in the midst of it all me and my family feel complete peace safe in the knowledge that he will be healed totally and completely. Why do I believe that? why am I so certain? I can answer that, the reason is I know that my god is a miracle worker, way maker, and a healer. In my eyes I visualise it, manifest it and I know he is healed, he will be a living testimony of what putting your trust in Jesus Christ can do. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday today and forever more. He is the God that knows our bodies, he made man out of the dust of the earth and breathed life into him. He parted the red sea so that the children of Israel could escape pharaoh, he blessed Sarah with a child in her old age, he raised the dead, healed the blind, fed the 5000 all by faith. There is nothing, I repeat there is nothing too hard for Jesus. Cancer will shrivel up and die in the name of Jesus. Total healing will overtake his body. I speak life over him health and strength in the name of Jesus. Satan meant it for evil but my god meant it for good just sit back and witness the power of the true and the living God.

From the moment he became ill God was in the picture he went before us, let me share this journey of how amazing and faithful my God Jesus Christ is. So, when my dad became clearly unwell we went to the NHS A&E at Kings College Hospital 2 times, and on each occasion, he was misdiagnosed and sent home even though he was fully displaying the signs of someone suffering from cancer some of his symptoms were vomiting, unable to pass stools or gas, rapid weight loss (lost 1 stone in less than 2 weeks), loss of appetite, fatigue and bloated stomach. At that point he had not eaten for 7 days.

When I look back I see that God does everything for a reason, and when we were turned away by that hospital on both occasions it was because God had already gone before us, and the people that he wanted to treat my dad were not in that hospital. During that time although the doctors misdiagnosed him God kept placing on my heart that something was not right so I stayed up all night praying, I fasted that his condition was something that could be removed, and I began looking for a private hospital. I managed to find one and God let me relax in the knowledge that my dad would be looked after there.

We had the most amazing doctor named doctor Wong. The level of care, concern, efficiency, and attention he gave to my dad I know only God could have gone before us and placed Doctor Wong in our lives, God blessed our family with good hearted people, so every scan and visit we had the costs were split between us. On day one of seeing doctor Wong he told my dad that he had bowel obstruction, and that an immediate CT scan needed to be done. The next day the results came in and we were called back into Doctor Wongs office and there we were told he indeed had Bowel cancer, we were then told that the cancer could be removed which is what I was praying for.

The day after he went for a colonoscopy where they performed a biopsy to confirm for 100% that the Tumour was cancerous which it was. Having been so badly neglected by the NHS and knowing that God himself placed us in that hospital to be treated by these doctors we were going to pay for him to have the surgery privately whist would have cost us over £40,000 plus all the aftercare. We did not have that kind of money. Doctor Wong said even though we want to go privately the costs are very high he kept on reminding us of that, with great concern he gave us the option to go to my dad’s GP and give them the photos from the colonoscopy and the reports, letting them know it’s urgent and he must be given surgery immediately. This was to get the ball rolling on both sides just in case we could not afford the surgery privately.

I called my bank to see if I could get a loan out to pay my part of the cost, the bank refused me the loan I was gutted. Me and my sister were speaking and saying God will make a way he did not bring us this far to leave us.

We went to speak to the surgeon that doctor Wong had recommended named Doctor Mukhtar the following day. He greeted us warmly and knew everything about my dad. He also mentioned that we do not live in North London and usually he would send us back to a more local hospital mentioning Kings College hospital as we lived in South London, but instead he gave us a choice to be treated there or locally. We said we were happy to stay up there because we trust those are the best doctors for my dad.

I began whispering to my sister how much is it let’s ask for the price, he then said he will perform the surgery on the NHS for us and we would not have to be placed on a waiting list and this would be done the next day. We were ecstatic. As we were leaving mum said before we left home she wrote a note saying, “paid in full” and placed it in her bible and indeed it was paid in full. Straight away I know why God did not allow my application for the loan to go through he had already known he was going to sort out the costs.

As he was promised, the surgery was performed and prior to the surgery Dr Mukhtar mentioned that he had a possibility of receiving a permanent stoma bag he really did not want that.

As they wheeled my dad down to the operating theatre we prayed behind in the holy spirit and charged the atmosphere and prayed and worshipped God whist he was in the theatre being operated on. We commanded angels to watch over him and be in every corner of the room, for the spirit of God to fill that room, and that God would work through the hands of everyone. Indeed, Gods hand performed that surgery he worked through every person in the operating theatre and the major surgery was a success and he did not receive the stoma bag which was a miracle.

When we saw him in recovery his face glowed and he did not look like a face of someone that was just under such major surgery, he was able to speak and never once pressed for morphine for pain. The day after he was walking a week later he was home and looked better than ever. When he went back 2 weeks after to remove the staples he had healed very well, and a week after that doctor Mukhtar and the nurses were shock at how mobile he was and said we only perform the surgery 3 weeks ago and he is recovering very fast. He said that he managed to remove all the cancer and there is a 60% chance that the cancer won’t come back. However, if he has chemo therapy it will increase by 13% giving him a 73% chance it won’t come back. He then referred us to speak to a chemo therapy doctor named Doctor Lenard the following week, who would explain better how chemo therapy works, by the time we had spoken to her my dad had already decided not to go for the chemo therapy, we all agreed and know that god has taken us this far and he will not leave us. Chemo is a poison and no good for the body, it destroys everything it touches. So now is the time to exercise faith and trust in God. I know, he knows, and we all know that my dad is healed, when God starts any work he completes it he does not heal you to give you back the disease God is the great physician when the doctors say no God says yes! I put complete faith and trust in Jesus Christ my saviour, the healer. The bible says by his stripes we are healed. Therefore, we are healed already we just need faith to believe he can do it, and trust to know that he will do it and it will be done. The next time I come to speak about my dad it will be another testimony that god can do exceeding and abundantly above all we could ever ask, think, or imagine. That is the God I serve and you should serve him today because through him alone is the impossible possible just trust him and try him today. GOD IS AMAZING AND ALL MY PRAISE AND GLORY IS TO HIM FOR ALL HE HAS DONE AND WILL DO IN JESUS NAME. AMEN!

Faith activates your power

Did you know that as believers in Jesus we are the most powerful people on this planet? If you didn’t know now we know. We have the ability to do the most miraculous things, so why is it that we are sometimes the most fearful people, and never realise the power that we have which is activated through the holy spirit, and above all faith. What is faith? The bible says in Hebrews 11:1 (KJV) “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Many believers in Christ will say they have faith when everything is going well. However, true faith is and the ability to access our God given power through the activation of faith, when we are put through a test. How many of us have faith when we can see how things might plan out? For example, you have faith that you are going to receive a job because you know you did an awesome interview, or faith that you will pass a test because you are good at a particular subject so always pass. Is that faith? Yes, it’s an element of faith, but is that faith in yourself and your own abilities or faith in God? True faith is not knowing how a situation is going to work together to create the positive outcome you are hoping for, yet believing that through faith and prayer we can access our power to receive and manifest that our situation has turned around for the good, whist still in the situation not seeing how it’s going to happen. Never limit God, never put him into a box! just because in that box you can understand how things could happen the bible says in Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV) “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Stop trying to figure out how God  is going to do something because you will never know, just pray by faith and wait to see your miracle. The bible says in 1 John 5:14 “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us” God does not need all the tools to be in place before he can move in your life and create a miracle. All he needs is your faith to be activated. Let me give you a testimony of my situation. in 2016 I had a car accident, I was very new to driving at the time, and didn’t know all the procedures to take when getting into an accident at the scene or after. I was receiving a lot of nuisance calls from claims organisations and various insurance companies, and was unsure who to be honest with. Long story short, I ended up being dishonest to my insurance company unknowingly. They then said because of this, I am liable to pay all the costs for injury and damage to the other drivers car. The driver was not honest and took advantage of my lack of knowledge in the situation and said he had 5 people in the car who had received injuries. My insurance company then contacted me in writing telling me I have to pay £18,000. My heart sunk, I didn’t have that kind of money. However, I knew that I could access that power within me by faith. I began to tell God the situation. I said Lord Jesus I leave it in your hands I can’t pay it you deal with it. I put the bill into my bible and left it for God to sort out. To this day I can testify that God moved, they have never contacted me again for that money. God is able so able, do not underestimate him the bible says in Ephesians 3:20 (NLV) “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” If God created ALL things, and knows ALL things, why not trust him with your life and have faith in him in your situation. Wouldn’t you trust the creator of your phone to fix it if you didn’t know how because They created it. How much more the creator of your life and everything in this entire universe. If you are reading this God is saying trust me, have faith me, and see my power work though you. The bible says in Matthew 17:20 (NIV) He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Is sex before marriage ok?

In today’s society sex before marriage is the norm. We meet someone, we fall in ‘love’, we begin moving in together and having a sexual relationship. Or we meet someone have sex then think we’ve fallen in love then move in together etc. Long story short, everyone is having sex in the way they see fit in their own personal circumstances. Sex is a good thing, God created the act of sex to be a pleasurable thing for the two people that are being intimate. Sex is so strong and so powerful, that the connection you feel after that encounter can begin to cloud your judgment. Many women and men use sex as a weapon or a tool in their relationships to get what they want, they also use it as a way to mask problems, and as a temporary resolution to arguments. Nowadays, many people do not see how sacred sex is, and have multiple partners all at the same time, and the spread of STD’s is at an all time high. This was not what God intended. As I mentioned before sex is a good and powerful act but only when done in the right context, which is within a marriage, other than that sex can be extremely destructive. Have you ever been in a relationship and really wanted to leave it, and know you should because it no longer serves you, but you end up constantly having sex with that person, then you feel that connection stronger than ever it masks the underlying problem so you keep holding onto the relationship? I know I have. Have you ever been someone that says but the sex is so good I can’t leave him or her? I’m Guilty again. Have you ever found that after you begin to have sex with him or her that you slowly begin to react differently, or that you feel this extra closeness emotionally and physically, and you begin to make judgment based on feelings instead of fact ? Yes me again. There is a thing called a soul tie when you decide to have sex with someone you become one with that person, what is the soul? The soul is there persons mind will and emotions (I will talk deeper on soul ties in another blog). As christians we have to remember that sex was meant to be with one person and contained in a marriage. We need to remember that our body is a temple of the Lord the bible say in 1 Corinthians 6:19  “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.” We are sacred containing the spirit of God that lives within us we need to treat our bodies like God’s home his holy sanctuary, and not just let the whole world and people that will be out of our life in the next few weeks, months, or years defile our temple. The bible calls sexual immortality a sin, it says in Ephesians 5:1-3 “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.” please from this day chose to live a pure life it’s hard and I know that all too well, I too am on this journey of purity and respect for my body, to totally surrender it and use it for God’s glory, so join me it’s never too late. I don’t care if you have slept with 1 person or 1000’s of people, God loves you he can make you pure and whole again. He can cleanse your mind, your body, and make you a new creation believe it and receive it. The bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” Just pray this prayer.

Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank you for my body, the body that you have made that is so sacred that you called it your temple, a place where you dwell. I haven’t treated my body as such a place, but instead used my body for my own pleasure to make myself feel good. Today I want to and I choose to use my body to honour you in all I do. I want to live a pure life with my body until you place my perfect husband/wife into my life. Please forgive me, cleanse me, and make me pure and new inside and out. Help me not to surrender to the temptations and lusts of my flesh, but instead to fix my eyes on you until the right one I should give my body too in marriage comes. Thank you for forgiving me and making me a new creation. I pray all this in Jesus precious name.
Amen.

Now let’s live a pure and new life with our bodies.

Never look back

Sometimes in life we can get to a point were we are so psyched up about moving forward and starting afresh in our lives. However, when the outcome of making the decision to do this does not work out in the way we want, we can begin to get discouraged or sometimes think if we made the right choices. These doubts then make us start looking back at how things were before. We start to think maybe the situation I was in before wasn’t so bad. For example you could have been a Christian in a relationship with a non Christian and that relationship may have been stunting your growth with God, and suddenly you feel this overwhelming push to let that relationship go because you know god is not being glorified though that particular relationship, so you let it go. A year or 2 maybe even more has passed, and you are still single. You begin to look back and think maybe I could have stayed with that particular person but just tried harder with my walk with God. You begin second guessing yourself and weighing up options you could have taken advantage of to remain in that relationship, even though you know it’s the wrong choice. The same could apply to friendships, jobs, etc. We need to realise that when we choose to look forward there was something inside of us that triggered that choice, and we need to hold on to that. I know this can be incredibly hard and sometimes we feel lonely, or like things don’t seem to be falling into place, but trust me don’t drag out a situation for fear of being lonely or not getting the results you want easily, results will come. Everything is a process, and the best things in life can’t be rushed. As Christians we need to trust that god has us In the palm of his hands. Be patient with him in the time where he has allowed you to move forward. God is building you up in this time, he’s strengthening and equipping you for the next situation so that you will prosper in it. Don’t lose focus and don’t ever look back on your past to the point where you miss your future. Satan wants you to remain in your past feeling miserable, but God wants to give you the brightest future, one you couldn’t have even imagined for yourself. The bible says in Isaiah 43:18-19 “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Believe it and receive it in Jesus name.

It’s time to detox

If you have been reading my previous blogs you will see that I have been going through a process of self love, and self refection as the Lord reveals certain areas of my life to me. Change encourages growth and growth can cause pain, but only for a while. Some people can only fit into your life at a certain point, then as you allow God to add growth to your life and you have to let go of that person, or God has to remove them out of your life it can be painful because you may be so attached. Just like we can get attached to clothes that we’ve had for years that no longer fit so can no longer serve a purpose, its the same with people and situations. I’m here to let you all know that it’s time to evaluate your lives, it’s time to step out of your comfort zone and walk into the plans of God which go far beyond your own. It’s time to go through growth and become the person you were created to be. For years I have let people suck me dry, to the point where I was totally empty and I’ve had to come and ask God to fill me up and give me life again. Stop letting people and situations steal and your joy, and your peace. If someone does not want to be in your life say goodbye, because if they can’t see your value and want to stay in your life, you need to evaluate why you don’t see your value by wanting them to remain in your life. If a person is constantly bringing you down with their words or tearing down your dreams, dreams that you may have had for the longest of times, is that the type of negativity that you want to entertain? If your friends say they are your friends but you’re constantly double thinking if they really are, or if they are doing things behind your back to make you look like a fool, are they even your friend? If your the one putting all the effort into a friendship or a relationship, and at points where you really need a shoulder to cry on or and ear to listen, those people are not there do you really want them in your life? because I’m sure you wouldn’t feel the difference having them there or not. Everyone has people in their lives who only want to be around when things are going well for you, but your true friends will be in your life through the good and the bad. Stop cutting yourself short, you deserve the best. Stop accepting the half hearted friendships and relationships. We all need to look at ourselves, and ask ourselves why are we settling for the worst when God has the best? Why don’t we trust God with our lives and know what he has is always better ? Ask God to reveal people’s true intentions, as I have been doing and he is showing me. Ask him to show you even your own heart and intentions when you allow certain people into your life. Remember as Christian there is a time and a season for everything. Today is the time to detox your life and give up on all the negativity. Ask God to remove people that no longer serve any purpose in your life. No one is too busy, we make time for those we value, and no time for those we don’t. Please don’t waste another second thinking about someone that is not thinking about you. Are you dry and thirsty?  the bible says in John 7:38 “Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.” God is waiting to give you new life and growth in new situations. Receive it in Jesus name.

I feel lonely and have no real friends. Read this

Feeling lonely is such a big issue these days, you could have 1,000,000 followers and still feel like you have no real friends, you could be at events surrounded by hundreds of people and still feel like you are the only one in the room. I believe that social media has played a big part when it comes to loneliness. We live in a digital world where people build online relationships and friendships, and although you may have hundreds of friends on Facebook Instagram etc. There is no real connection with these people. You could literally walk pass them on the street without even recognising that they are on your friends list. It’s so sad really, even the other day I saw one of the people I have on my friends list and he saw me. I’ve liked his stuff online and he has liked mine. However, we walked past each other like 2 strangers it’s makes me cringe when I think about it, and shows you just how web based the friendship was, but in reality the loneliness and lack of real friendship. We spend hours staking online profiles of people in our friends lists to the point where we think we know them because of the things they post, but how well do we really know them? We throw around the word friend and it carries no weight to it. For example, we will be like, look at my ‘friends’ picture or look what my ‘friend’ just posted but you and that ‘friend’ have never connected on a personal level, or not spoken since school days. The person they where 10 years ago is not the person they are now, yet we still refer to them as a friend why? Does that person even consider you a friend? We are all longing for friendships and want to prove to people that we are not lonely, and how to determine that these days is through your friends list. However, in actual fact a lot of people are extremely lonely, wanting real human connections. Before social media exploded, we had to actually talk to people, show a true interest in people, find out if we had things in common on a face to face basis or ever over a phone call. If you liked what you saw and you both clicked on a personal level, only then would that person be considered your friend. Friendship these days just starts at the click of a button behind a computer screen, or in a one word response instant message. Nowadays, I find so many people say, hey how are you ? Because it’s just a thing to say, but deep down inside they couldn’t care less how you were, or what type of week you may be having, and subconsciously you know that and you reply with the simple I’m alright thanks, how are you? We live in a disconnected small talking generation. We go out to dinner to watch each other scroll up and down on social media feeds finding out what stranger are doing but disconnected from the person sitting right in front of us. We say let’s chill, but instead our focus is not on each other it’s on our phone. Instead of people speaking to you in person they find you through a friend add you then dm you on social media. I don’t know if it’s just me, and by no means am I saying social media is a bad thing, as i do like the platform it has created for people to present their unique ideas. However, I dislike the fact that it’s disconnected everyone because we are so addicted to social media, we tell it everything, post on it everyday and if we are not posting we are just scrolling endlessly, ignoring the people around us everyday. Just for today try to have a real life connection with someone you don’t know, it’s gonna be hard, but to be honest, you are doing it everyday when you friend someone you don’t know on social media and you slide in their dm’s and start liking their posts. As christians we are safe in the knowledge that we are never alone, God is always with us. The bible says he will never leave us or forsake us. How about you begin building a real serious friendship with God, put down your phone and get to know him, he want your time and your friendship. If we are honest a majority of the time we can spend more time on social media than with our true friend Jesus. Also the bible says in Proverbs 18:24 (NIV) ‘A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.’ I really hope this helps even one person to evaluate their life, build true meaningful friendships with people, but above all with Jesus Christ our God, king, and Saviour.

Toxic friends

How many of you have been hurt or offended by someone that you considered a close real friend? I have, lately as I’ve been building my relationship with God he’s opened my eyes to people that I considered friends. If you read my blog titled ‘he hits me but we love each other’ you will see me touch on my own abusive relationship, and how over the years it’s led me to various other toxic relationships and friendships. This is hard to talk about because I’m still in the process of trying to get the toxic friend out of my life completely. However, what’s the point of blogging if you can’t pour your heart out and hope others don’t fall into the same trap. That’s why I started this blog, to show others it’s not always easy but with God all is possible. This toxic friendship was one of the most challenging, and heart breaking friendships I’ve had to go through, and a lot of people were hurt during the duration of it. This so called ‘friend’ came into my life like a knight in shining armour. At the point that I allowed him into my life I was at a broken place brought on by the relationship I was in prior. He was able to make me forget the pain, make me feel like I deserved the world and everything in it. He offered me friendship which then led to a real closeness, a closeness I hadn’t really felt with a friend before, and because he was a friend I felt safe. He’d later tell me he wanted more but it was hard at that point in his life, I wanted more too, so much happened in the process i ended up hurt and even more damaged than when I first went in ( I’ll go into detail in another blog), but because I was not healed properly from all the hurt I was expecting him to fix me. I became needy, dependant, jealous if he’d speak to other girls and he’d get the same. It was a friendship but began to feel like more of a relationship. I started to see traits that reminded me of previous relationships and I just couldn’t get why every time I was involved with someone it always turned sour. I decided after truly trying to put my trust and focus on god (it was not easy) that i finally needed to let go. That friendship was only bringing out the worst in me and not the God in me. I knew (or should I say I know as this is still a fresh situation), that I need to love myself, put God first, and trust that he going to provide the best for me if I wait on him. As I begun praying about the friendship I told God to make sure I don’t look back because several times I have done. God is so good, he begun to reveal things to me that made me know he was no longer worth my time or focus. Toxic relationships or friendships suck your joy, your peace, your focus, your self worth, your mind and soul, your health, and so much more. They become stifling, full of lies and deceit, they feel great for a moment but you will always be on edge with the constant love and hate. God wants more for me, he wants me to focus on him because during the course of that friendship I was trying and failing, because my heart and my mind were just so focused on that person. Don’t let anyone or anything distract you from God, if someone is doing that you need to question as a christian if that person is really meant to be in your life. Please, if you are reading this and you know this sounds like you, leave that relationship, you deserve more. I know it hurts, it’s hurting me too right now as I’m literally going through the pain of making that decision to finally let it go. I know you feel like rubbish and ashamed of how things became. Let’s go through this together, let’s heal with the help of God and heal completely. Don’t rush into another relationship because in my experience it will end up the same, why? because hurt people attract hurt people, and hurt people hurt people. Allow God to strengthen you, when you want to call the person speak to God, when you want to message the person open your phone go to your notes and write to God. I can testify that if it was not for the love of God, and reading his promises in his word I’d still have been holding on. I know the devil does not want to see me let go but I’m going to keep walking forward and never look back, and you should too in Jesus name.

Does being a Christian mean we won’t experience bad days?

Being a follow of Christ is one of the best choices you can make in your life, it means that you have accepted Jesus Christ into your heart and life. It means that your life is directed by God and you will live according to his special individual purpose. It means that you have someone in your life who’s love is immeasurable and unconditional. It means that God will never leave you nor forsake you. Sometimes christians fall into a trap of thinking however, that because they are on God’s side it will be easy and that they won’t encounter trials and tribulations, they believe that everyday will be a bed of roses. There is no one in the bible that was a true follower of Christ that didn’t experience struggles ( read the famous book of Job). Having storms in your life does not make you a bad person. It means you are a powerful person through Christ, the devil sees you as a threat to his kingdom, and he wants to do what he knows best kill, steal, and destroy you. I always realise that the closer I get to God, and the stronger my relationship with him is, the more the fiery darts are shot at me. Sometimes God allows troubles into your life to bring you back to his feet or to humble you. Other times he wants you to put your trust in him whist holding firm to his word and show you he is God over everything the bible say in proverbs 3 : 5-6 ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.’ There is nothing too hard for him. As christians we must know if God brought us too it he can bring us through it. You may not understand it, but God will direct you through. Just as a parent directs the path of the child when they have little understanding, and the child trusts with their life, it’s the same thing with God our father. Whatever the storm you’re in, or will encounter our God is greater trust in him and see his mighty hand at work.

Prayer to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and saviour.

Dear Lord Jesus,
I believe that you came down to earth as man, died for me while I was still a sinner and raised up from the dead on the 3rd day for the remission of my sins.
Your word says in Romans 10:9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. So I confess that and believe it in my heart, Jesus save me, forgive me, and cleanse me in the precious blood you shed for me on Calvary. Thank you for making me whole, and accepting me into your kingdom. Lead me and guide me. In Jesus name. Amen.

If you prayed that prayer welcome to the loving family of Jesus Christ. If you have any questions don’t be afraid to message me I’m always here to listen and to pray for you and your needs.

He hits me but we love each other

Abusive relationships are sensitive areas to touch on, and if you have never been in one, it’s difficult to understand why someone may choose to stay in such relationships where they are torn down repeatedly. An abusive relationship can take away all your confidence, eat you away from the inside out, and turn you into a person that you can’t even recognise. Let me share with you my experience, I met a guy, he was new to a church I was attending. He was just starting out in the Christian faith and around that time I was really trying to grow a deeper relationship with God and make my own conscience decision to follow him. Anyway, long story short we started talking and shortly after we begun dating. He was perfect, i couldn’t have asked for more. He was the sweetest, most sensitive, shy guy I’d met and he’d do absolutely anything for me. His family was quite different from mine it was quite broken, his mum had been in an abusive relationship with his dad and after many years they split so it was his step dad that was in his life – who he didn’t really get on with. I remember I would spend literally everyday with him, and when we weren’t together we’d engage in long conversations where sometimes we’d fall asleep on the phone, we just couldn’t get enough of each other. The first 2 years of the relationship were amazing we never argued, we always compromised and met in the middle. Suddenly, along came the obsession and controlling behaviour. He’d tell me not to wear certain things and that if I wanted to wear specific clothing that he didn’t agree with, I’d have to bring it in a bag and change when I was at his house into them. He’d want my passwords but would never give me his. He’d get mad if we were walking and someone looked at me, we’d argue and then things would begin to get physical. The first time it happened I was more shocked, I couldn’t believe it. However, he apologised, cried, said that he’d never done that before and we’ve been together for so long and it’s never happened, and that he loved me. I forgave him and stayed in the relationship I didn’t want to waste 2 years and thought I’d regret it if I left. He made me think I’d never find someone who would love me like he did, in my mind I believed he loved me, and that what he was saying was true. That was the wrong choice and the beginning of the mental games, and breaking me down to the point I didn’t know the person I was. Before the relationship I was the person that used to say those famous words ‘if a man puts his hands on me one time I’m leaving’ but I ate those words very quickly, because in reality I stayed for 3 more years till the relationship got so bad.  He’d threaten to kill himself if I left whist telling me he loved me. I’d stay because I loved him sometimes it would be months where he was so nice, sweet and perfect just like in the beginning . During that period I’d fall back stronger in love with him and then it would start again. When the relationship finally ended on the 5th year in, i didn’t even know what to do with my myself I’d depended on his direction for so long, he was my world and the love of my life. People would say well he wasn’t good for you so let go and move on, but it was not easy. I couldn’t understand why i let him treat me like that. I knew i deserved better, but didn’t know why at the same time. Now I know that it’s because I had no love for myself, because loving him destroyed the love I had for myself it took me up to this day to really acknowledge and recognise that. On my journey to finding myself and my god given purpose, i encountered several bad relationships and toxic friendships, trying to temporarily heal myself, but without really  looking  at the route cause as to why I kept attracting toxic abusive people into my life. I needed a man to tell me I was worthy again I needed to feel loved . As believers in Christ we must never forget that god loves us with an everlasting love. The bible says in John 3:16 ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life’. We really need to understand what true love is, and remember that the devil is an imitator and will try to make his twisted version of love look like what the true love that god explains to us in his word. The bible say’s In Corinthians 13:4-8 ^‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.’ Remember just because you love someone or something it does not mean it’s right for you. For example, someone could love taking drugs it does not mean it’s good for them. I’ve been really learning lately that god puts people in my life for a reason and a season, some people are not meant to stay in your life forever. Sometimes God places them there to teach you something about yourself, or just so you can give a testimony that can help someone that may be in the same situation now. It’s not going to be easy, but to heal it must hurt. however, once you overcome you will be stronger than before. In this time remain focused on god let him fix all the damage that has happened while you seek him.

Is plastic surgery the answer to happiness and beauty?

The need for perfection is greater than ever before. Whether it’s butt implants, breast implants, abdominal implants you name it.  There is an increase in these procedures that people risk their lives for all in the name of ‘beauty’. Have you ever heard people complaining about their physical attributes along the lines of ‘I hate my bum, I’d feel so much happier if it was bigger, if I had the money to have surgery I would,’ or I hate my small boobs I’d just look more attractive if they were bigger’….? We are living like Sims, altering bits and pieces of ourselves when we see fit to gain a new found love, happiness, and confidence for ourselves. (By no means am I speaking about people who require surgery because they have become disfigured through illness and accident as those reasons are beyond the individuals control). I see highly successful YouTubers preach body confidence while their next video will be titled, ‘why I’m having cosmetic surgery’. In those videos they try to convince their fans that they are not having the surgery for anyone else, and that they are happy with the way that their body is, however they are just doing it for themselves as an enhancement. This long winded explanation is given so that they don’t look weak minded and portray themselves as a person that has been sucked into the web of perfection. We spend so much time on our phones looking at Instagram models, that have the perfect bodies, refined features, not one hair out of place, blemish free skin… what we don’t know is that, whether consciously or subconsciously, we strive to meet these levels of so called ‘perfection’. We have to remember that we are living in a time where technology is so advanced, and social media is booming. A person will sometimes spend hours or days to digitally enhance themselves then post an unrealistic fake image of what they believe perfection is after seeing someone else’s picture of perfection. This is the viscous and sad cycle of what a false representation of beauty causes – a generation of people trying to compete for the title of  ‘who can create the best fake picture post it up and get the most likes and shares’. This in turn makes the individual posting that picture even more insecure gaining a extra lack of body confidence. They start to think  what if the person who posted that picture of him or herself  is actually what they really look like, while i’m over here enhancing mine for hours just to look like that person.  They now begin to believe that they are only liked by others for the fake digitally enhanced image of themselves. This leads to them becoming obsessed with wanting to look like the digitally enhanced version of themselves, the version of themselves that they don’t see looking back at them when they look in the mirror. Now this then triggers the need for cosmetic surgery, because digital enhancement is only good for so long. The individual begins to think, what if people see me in real life and I don’t match the images that I put up on social media, will I still be liked? will I still get the attention or will I be seen as ugly and receive negativity because of what people thought I looked like? so they book the appointment the procedure goes ahead, they tell their followers it’s natural so they don’t feel ashamed that others may find out that they have insecurities. When their followers try to gain those man made results, and realise they can’t, those followers become next in line for obsessing about receiving cosmetic surgery in the hopes of gaining these fake unrealistic expectations. It’s so sad that people risk their own lives for the chance to look like what the media pumps into our heads as beautiful. Cosmetic surgery is never the answer to beauty and true happiness, as christians we need to remember that God knitted us in our mothers womb the hairs on our head are numbered, that birth mark you have is not an accident. Just like an artist spends time on his portrait and draws on every freckles and every mole, and is pleased when its complete. It’s the same way that God intricately designed you. He made you in his image and he looked down upon you and said it’s good.  If you are reading this and you are struggling in this area ask yourself, why are you changing yourself ?   Who told you you weren’t beautiful? Do I need to actually learn to love myself as I am? whats triggering my mindset and how i see myself? I am on the journey to loving and accepting myself everyday. What we call our flaws are Gods little details that make us unique. Even he knows that living in a world where everyone looked the same would be pretty boring. Please remember that you are so beautiful, look in the mirror say it and believe it. You were fearfully and wonderfully made, don’t change for the world. Until you can love yourself, and be truly confident in the person God made you to be, you will continue to change yourself to the point where you will wake up one morning and realise, that the person you created could never match the person that God created you to be. Psalms 139:13, Luke 12:7, Genesis 1:26-27